Couldn't If I Tried
by Faelwen Slashbringer
Summary: When Merry's fears for Pippen manifest into nightmares, he is forced to realize just how much he cares for his cousin. Rated K  for a  non-graphic kiss. SLASH, oneshot, hurt/comfort, OTP, TWT, fluff.


**Couldn't If I Tried**

_Author's note:_  
><em>My first finished Mippen story! =D<em>  
><em>Unfortunately, it was made in October 14, 2011, and I am not amused at how long it took to get around to publishing. It also really isn't that great compared to the stuff I can write now. It moves too fast, the pronouns are badly placed, and several sentences need to be merged together. Yet despite all this, I love it. It's cute, sweet, meaningful, and I am proud of it. So I give it to you, in all it's tarnished glory, in the hopes that you will enjoy it. If it gets enough positive reviews, maybe I'll even fix it up and some day. =)<em>  
>_<p>

Darkness. Always darkness. And the smell. One could never get used to it. It was like the stench of rotting cabbages, mixed with a sickening feeling of guilt. Guilt? Where did that come from? He wasn't quite sure. He stepped through the remnants of his old home, barely recognizable under all the slime and soot. He looked down at the slicked over cobblestones, fighting back the urge to retch. He had to go on. He wasn't sure why, he just knew that he must. He had to find what he was looking for. A minute passed, or maybe a year. He couldn't quite tell. He walked on, when something suddenly caught his eye. The thing in question was green, and he stooped and gingerly took the cold, metal, object from the mud. Looking it over, he could see that it was in the shape of a leaf. He regarded it for a second. It held some kind of significance. It stood for something. Didn't it? He cast his eyes around, searching for an answer. Then he saw it. His answer was lying face down in the muck, it's small green cloak muddied and marred. "Pippen!" He screamed out, running to the younger hobbit. He reached him, and threw himself down to his knees beside his friend. He reached out and touched the cold figure's shoulder. Suddenly, he was blinded. A huge eye leaped out at him, threatening to consume him it it's raging flames. He almost reeled back in terror, but chose instead to hold tight to Pippen. No matter how much it hurt, he would never leave him. He knew that, no matter what the evils of his world threw at him, it would never compare to the pain inflicted by of the loss of his best friend. The eye widened in disgust. It knew not of true love, and wanted nothing to do with it. The hobbits were enveloped in flames, leaving behind only soot and slime.

"PIPPEN!" Merry cried out wildly, scrabbling at the damp ground. His eyes flew around, searching wildly for the enemy. There was no one. He eyes settled on the small form lying in the cold grass beside him. He sat back on the ground. It was a dream. Just a dream. He looked over at Pippen. His best friend. He wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. He couldn't if he tried.  
>"Merry?" Pippen stirred and looked up at him with wide, confused eyes. "Merry? Are you alright?"<br>Merry sighed and gave him a small smile. "Nothing Pip. Just a dream. Go back to sleep."  
>Pippen disregarded this and sat up to face him fully, his large, brown eyes searching Merry's. Merry remembered the fiery one, so entirely different from those of his friend, so devoid of love or compassion. He shuddered, remembering it's wrath.<br>"Merry?" Pippen cut through his troubled thoughts with a bit more serious tone. "Are you alright?"  
>Merry took a breath and closed his eyes, trying to keep the tears back. "Well, I just had a dream. Hobbiton was gone, and you were gone. And the eye found me- but I couldn't leave, so I held on, and-!" His frantic speech was cut short by a mouth pressed against his. He let out a surprised noise, his heart pounding against his ribs. What was going on? He wasn't entirely opposed to the idea of kissing his best friend, (he had, in fact, considered it more then a couple times) but it did come at him out of the blue. He decided to stop struggling, and let his heart slow, for fear that it would break. A couple of seconds passed before Pippen pulled back, letting Merry gasp for air. A minuet of silence tensed between them as Merry fought to maintain a steady heartbeat. Pippen sat back on his heels, blushing in shame. Finally, he spoke. "I'm so sorry Merry! I just kind of lost control and-" this time he was cut short as Merry pulled him into a passionate kiss, their tears mixing, their hurts mending one another. When the broke away, both were stained with grass, tears, and (the strangest of all) understanding.<br>Right then, Merry knew that Pippen would never leave him. He couldn't even if he tried. And that was how it would always to be.

-**End**


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